I'm scared

I'm scared of public schools.
I'm scared of the public school budget for next year.
I'm scared that the arts will be squashed out of the American public school system.
I'm scared that our future generations will have no imagination, creativity, or skills to be independent.
I'm scared that I'll have to prove my worth to the public school system that doesn't value it either way.
I'm scared that I may get paid based on how my students perform.
I'm scared that kids will not be allowed to be kids.
I'm scared that kids can't explore like they used to.
I'm scared that teachers are just going to sit there and take it.


Is there hope? I have a little bit, but..

I'm scared that I'll lose hope.

Here I am working in an American Public School, the district is trying to be more transparent and sharing of information, but I don't fine it reassuring that they're still making these very big decisions without long term consquences. Our district got a lot of stimulus money last year for teachers, and I feel that it wasn't put to good use at all. Now there will be no stimulus money, and all of us expect more cutbacks than this past year. They want to give us a slightly shorter contract year, and then also cut back our daily hours-- but guess what? We'll still all be working those same days, and those same hours (same teacher struggle as anyone else, really). But then they want to raise our health care, and the district won't participate in our retirement. There will be less money for the arts, and they may even cut a fine arts teacher because of numbers. There's a new high school requirement for all students to take a Fiscal Math class!!??! What? Back in my day that wasn't a class everyone would have taken.

So I'm scared. I don't know how we're all supposed to keep doing the same jobs we do everyday when we're cutting teachers, making bigger class sizes beause of those cuts, and then shortening our days/hours, and paying us less, and then still planning to base our pay on the way our students perform? Who thought this up?

Well, I need to stop ranting, because if I think about it more I may actually explode all over my computer (parden the graphic tone). The budget will go through the board tonight, and we'll see what happens. I predict a few of those items I mentioned will go through.

I guess I have to keep saying to myself that it actually could be a whole lot worse. And it's true. I could be completely losing my job! And I don't think that's going to happen.

But like I said, I'm scared.