SUCCESS

It pays to be direct. That's right, I got my deposit back, not because my room was left in better condition than I found it, but because I sent a certified letter to the landlady. I think it worked. I am out of that place for good and all I have to do is go cash that check.... So that makes me happy to no end. I finally got one thing out of the way.

Now on to driving. It's kind of weird always traveling under the cover of darkness. It makes me feel a little like a member of the Von Trap family. It's not ideal at all, and to tell you the truth I'm so tired, I'm a little drunk on no sleep. It's been rough.

School, is no exception. What do you do when you feel like someone is pushing you to the brink of cracking? And you know that's what they're waiting for? I don't know. I guess that makes me not want to crack even more. So I won't. My only choice in this matter is to not be around anyone. So I guess I'll will be a wallflower for as long as I can stand it. I know I didn't really explain anything there, but it's complicated and actually almost all of it seems unimportant now. And I think now that now that I'm realizing how crazy everyone is at work, it really has nothing to do with me, it's time to just let it all go. I LOVE teaching my classes. SERIOUSLY! You can't beat 8 in a class. 8 students in a class. Can you imagine?? And as long as that is still going ok, then that's good, because that's what I'm there for.

More good things:

The weekend is coming up.
I can sleep more and won't have to drive.
I got all my stuff now in one place.
Next week is only a 4 day week for me. Originally it was moving day, but now I'm just going to take it as a personal day....
3 more weeks until Christmas break.
AND AND AND.............wait for it.............

THANK YOU JONA FOR THE CARD!! I got it today when I got home. It really made my day!


Ok, peace out, man... I need sleep

First day down....

.........And many months more to go. But I did it. I got in my car at 4:45 and drove myself to work in under 2 hours. I got there way too early, and I'm taking 15 more minutes of sleep tonight. So that's nice. I'm even going to shave some time off my breakfast by preapring half of it tonight. Coffee included, of course.

Ok. Update on the Business. My friend, Amy, who's also going to be my business partner, has a telephone meeting with the people we're going to do business with (hopefully), and then my turn will be later in the week. So that's exciting. I think it's really going to happen. It's going to be a lot of work, but I swear we can do it.

Did I also mention the CIA called me the other day? .... and by that I mean, the Culinary Institute of America. I'd love to still do that someday, but it's on the back burner for now. Which is fine. I can cook, I can bake. It would be great to spend more time doing that now, which I am, since I'm living at home. So that will do for now.

Thinking about stretching myself really thin and trying to work for a baker here in Gettysburg. I mean, I don't have much of a life right now, and I might as well stay busy, and try to earn a few more dollars to add to the pot, and learn something I'm interested in. We'll see. I have to find a balance. It's going to take a few weeks, and then I'll see what I need to do.

School...is well, school. Not too many students right now, and the ones that are there, are so funny. The girls unit! The stuff they were talking today was hilarious. I had never heard so many uses of the term "snap" in my life... And yes Cory... they were correct uses of the term "snap"... Oh snap!

Alright.. nighty night.

Don't talk, listen.........

Would you be offended if your boss made that line apart of your staff meeting agenda? I am. I don't want to go back tomorrow. I'm dreading the long ride, I don't know if I'm going to be able to handle it. I'm trying to figure out the best way to use my sick leave. I feel like maybe every other week I should take 2 days off. That way every other week I have a holiday, kind of.

It's a lot to think about, but I guess I should think about the money I'm saving. It's good money. It will really help to have that stashed away somewhere for a while. At least that is the hope.

So much to think about, I'm finding more of a positive spin. So that's good. Things will be alright.

Well then...........

So there's been a lot going on in the last 2 weeks. My title says I'm not shipwrecked, but it is how I feel right now. I'm really worried about the commute. I'm very scared that it's just going to break me down. I'm trying to figure out alternatives. It's looking rough. I have a couple of friends who are willing and able to let me stay with them a couple nights a week, so that's great. And I have 19 days of sick leave, so I might as well take those, when I feel like I need them. It's just going to be hard. I'm not sure what the next few months will bring. I guess a lot of thinking and a lot of listening to music. Anyone got any ideas for driving music? I've tried listening to books on tape, but I'm usually distracted and don't get to listen to the story, so I think that's out. Same with foreign language tapes, but maybe I could do it with a language I'm already familar with, like French, German, Spanis, or even Italian... I don't know.

I'm thinking it's going to just have to be one of those things where I'll wake up, work, try to make it to a gym, or some kind of active thing, and then eat a quick meal and go to bed. I think that's going to be my life for the next 6 months. I can't quit my job. I can't. Because there is definite opportunity to save a lot of money for the big move to KC.

I guess I just feel nervous about it. This holiday has made me feel very anxious, and I haven't really been doing anything except think about what my options are for the next 6 months. Is saving money worth the grief at work? Is driving almost 2 hours each way worth it? What about gas? That's like paying rent. What about my well being? How will that change?

I've thought about getting part time jobs in Gettysburg. I think I could probably sub everyday, but I wouldn't have health insurance. I could work a series of part time jobs, or even take a risk and try to work at bakeries and coffee shops. But I can't earn enough. Part of me would just like to quit my teaching job, and the other part of me would like to pull through.... which I'm known to do in almost any situation. It's part of my personality. I like to see things through... I guess that's why I end up in some strange situations sometimes, or negative ones.

One thing is for sure, I can't quit now, it's close to Christmas, I only have about 4 more weeks until another break. It's certainly do-able. But is the rest of the year?

Oh well. I guess we'll see about that.

At any rate, I hope Americans had a good Thanksgiving. I enjoyed all the side dishes I could manage. And I'm going to try to use them today in leftovers. We'll see what happens. My mom said I should be creative.....

Wow, what a week

It all began on Monday, of course, when I got an e-mail from my friend Amy... The timing couldn't be more strange, but she asked me if I was interested in taking over a business along with her. What, you say? Kate running a business? Well, first of all, it would be an art eduation related business, so it's not coming out from left field. Although right now I'm sitting here thinking about it, and wondering, how am I going to do this. ANYWAY... Amy has worked for the business owner since the end of summer, and the guy wants to sell it and get out. It's profitable, has only been up and running for less than a year, and has so much growth potential...at least in our minds. So............... we're going to do it.

As you may hae guessed, Amy and Travis are the ones that live out in Kansas City, MO. So that's where I'm headed. SHOCKER! I know. Kate who always said she wouldn't be caught dead in the middle of the country, is now headed towards tornado alley.. Who would have thought? But that's the way life is. Isn't it? You never, ever know where life will take you. I never planned on going to Egypt either....

It's not without pause though. We're doing some hard thinking and trying to cover all our bases with a plan to take it over. It won't be finalized until about April, and it could fall through.. Who knows... but, it's happening, it's in the works.

It's exciting and I'm super nervous about owning a business, but I think it will work.

Phew.........now that's news

Pictures

Part 3: Alaska

Pictures

Part 2 of Alaksa

Some pictures

Part 1 of Alaska

The Midwest

........NOT that bad. I was scared at first, venturing into the unknown and what not. But there it was in all it's glory. Space, nice people, a mid size city. Even a decent art scene that I could actually entertain getting into! Imagine that! Now, I'm not saying that I'm moving.. Cause, I'm not. But you can buy a church for $50,000. Or a building that you could live and work in (historical) for $90,000. Or-- you could buy a beautiful home for $150,000! Rent-- around $400 depending on what you want. Give or take $100. AMAZING!

I don't know. I'm definintely glad I went out there, and I know what's there now. It is a great place to live. It's not touristy. It's really a city for living. So many places I've visited and that's the difference. Many cities are very toursity, or cater to visiting people. Especially mid-sized cities. I didn't feel like it was "midwest". I felt like it was still Eastcoast, except without the attitude, and a little more gracious. Not as much material, more genuine. Good places to eat (although the salsa was not even remotely hot---darn).

One thing at a time. First I have to move out of my "room". Then I have to make my new place my own. Then....we'll see.

I

Senseless people doing senseless things

Peep this........... More insight on how things can be there. And how things can just escalate and get out of hand. Quickly. How sad, horrible, and disgraceful

http://mechanicalcrowds.blogspot.com/2006/10/when-crowds-are-gone.html

Time marches on

I can't believe it's alrady November. We've been so lucky to have nice fall weather so far, but I fear it's all about to change. It's been blue sky and sunny this past week, we even got to eat lunch outside. I like that!

Halloween came and went without really making a sound. Saturday I went to a party with my friends and it was ok. People weren't really doing much. Just kind of standing around and talking. There definitely seemed to be split between two groups. I was just invited to go. I only new the people I went with. I went with Katie and Shannon. We al decided to go as bank robbers, last minute. We made an enterance and everyone just stared. HOW STRANGE? I thought we looked pretty good. Especially for putting it all together just a couple hours before the party. Oh well, some people just don't really care. At least I looked more like a girl this year and less like Napoleon...hahahaha (that was a good costume though..freakin' awesome..gosh).

Tuesday I went over to my friends house. And helped pass out candy and watch kids come by with their costumes. There were a few that just squeaked by. But these two teenage boys came by and they had no costumes. I asked what they were, one said," I'm a male model" and the other said," I'm 18". Ok, whatever. Get candy while you can.

At school I decided to pass out candy and do exquisite corpses. Some of the exquisite corpses didn't really come out so good. Oh well. It's better to do with more than less kids. Perhaps we should have just done one big exquisite corpse for each class! I don't know.

Now it's Thursday! The week goes fast. Closer to my move date. I can't wait! Just about 4 more weeks to go. And I won't really be there this weekend, and then soon it will be THanksgiving, and then I move!

Thinking about getting a tree this year too. I'm usually against those things, I'd rather get a tree that can be planted etc... But I think this year I'm going to get a cut one. I'm looking forward to it.

Looking into culinary schools.... watch out! I may be a pastry chef yet!

3 good things or more

Oh man, this tree I pass everyday coming home from work. It's amazing! The tree is huge and the sunlight passes right through the leaves at around 4:00. I keep saying I'm going to take my camera with me to work one day so on the way home I can snap a picture of it. But I keep forgetting, and then I realize it probably wouldn't be as beautiful to look at the picture anyway. The colors of the leaves this week have been amazing on that tree. It's all orange and yellow, and it changes value ever so slightly. It's as if Andy Goldsworthy made the tree himself. It just brightens my day everytime I go past it. I wish I lived in the house that owns the land on which the tree sits.

Secondly, I was amazed at the beautiful light that bounced of the clouds yesterday before sunset. I don't know what it was, but there was this dense cloud and the sun must have been right behind it. All these rays of light just came from behind, and made a stunning view. The rest of the sky was a series of blue tones and the wind was cold and crisp. I don't mind the cold when it's that beautiful to look at.

Thirdly, we all get an extra hour of sleep over here this weekend! YES!! I'm really excited about that. Yes, fall back everyone! Don't forget.

Fourth, I bought a new winter coat. To keep nice and toasty throughout the winter months, and believe me, if I'm cold now, February is going to be brutal! (it may actually make me pine for Cairo..almost)

Fifth, I head out to see Amy and Travis next weekend! So excited, and I get to visit a new place. Never been to Kansas City, and now I get to go see what it's like.

Sixth, ummm... well, tomorrow is Friday, and Saturday I think I'm going to a halloween party. Don't know exactly what I'm going to be. Any ideas welcome. My sister gave me a few, but now it's a mad dash.....

People say I'm not positive............those are 6 positives in one entry! So there.

In this day and age

I find it extremely difficult that there are so many people I work with (like all of them), who don't believe evolution. I have a feeling I know why (which I won't discuss here). Mostly it's how they've been taught it, and it's their strong believe in the fact that they believe that the bible is fact (but they're not even schooled in that either). They're believing what they are told, instead of looking for answers themselves. Which is why I get all bent out of shape about religion. Many (not all and not every) religion preys upon the uneducated, or the people who just want the ease of faith. I can't understand why people would let themselves be misguided, but it happens outside of religion too (politics.. pretty much anywhere) I try to understand. I know I won't change their mind. And they won't change mine.

At the same time, how can one not make sense of the patterns we see everyday. How can they not see that evolution is in everything and everyday. The regeneration of skin, to the leaves falling, heredity (it's in our genes), the fossils.

I think my next major art undertaking with be a theme in evolution. I haven't quite figured out how... but I want to include evolution in my artwork. It can be the evolution of my art work.. ohh... I like that.. Ellen, want to take part???

Evolution is a sore subject to many people because I think it challenges them. And many people don't like to be challenged. Some people just like to stick to certain believes because it's easier. Life isn't easy. Keep exploring... keep learning. Things change. Theories do get blown out of proportion. But evolution is no longer a theory it's fact.

Possibilities

Do you see a pastry chef in your future? You might. I'm seriously thinking about applying to culinary school to be a pastry chef. Not sure where yet, and it probably won't be until 2008! But it's something I am seriously thinking about. I have to get some experience working in a bakery, or some kind of food industry. So I haven't quite figured out where, but I'm looking. There's a bakery up the road and I think I might just ask if I can work there for basically free.... So, we'll see. I'm thinking of the Culinary Institute of America or Johnson and Wales University, or some school in Boston.... I don't know. But, I'm investigating. Some schools are really expensive, so it would put more school loans on top of school loans. Not something I'm excited about....but if there's a will there is a way.

Keep warm out there folks...

One of the best things about driving u pto my parents house this weekend was the fact that the colors on the trees are pretty amazing. I think up in PA they're just about down, but around my area it's like they're just about at their peak. The GW parkway was amazingly beautiful. One of the other great things about driving up was listening to NPR. I know.. NPR... but really it's funny because they play old bluegrass songs. And they come out with the funniest lyrics ever. Like:

You can use all the kitchen grease, I can buy it buy the pound. True love ain't like lard, darlin' why do you make this so hard.... please don't take my picture down, on your way back from town.

and

Oh were did my love go, she's supposed to wear my ring today. If you find her I'll be down by the willow tree getting married to another.

WHAT?? Crazy! I know. Then they have stained-glass blue grass. With amazing lines like:

The lord took my sweet heart and I have to prepare, so that I may go up, and meet her up there.

It just is one of those things.

Anywhooo..........just thought I would share that with you...
Halloween party to go to next week, and I just realized I have no idea for a costume. I don't know this year. Nothing can top last year!

it didn't go down well........

So I told my housemate this week. And it didn't go well. I'm giving her as much time as I can for her to find a new person. I started off by telling her what I was doing and my reasons for moving... NOT ABOUT HER AT ALL. But then she brought on the guilt and outright asked me what she could have done to make it better basically. So I told her a few basics. Then she criticized me and spoke down to me and blamed me that I can't communicate. I was really upset. Granted, I don't like confrontation and I am a bit passive when it comes to certain behaviors of people I'm around. But she's not very approachable, and I felt like I was between a rock and a hard place. Not to mention it's her house. I'm not on equal footing with her. I could go on. But I think it's done now. She needs to get over it. And I need to just lie low for the next six weeks. I am sure this is the right decision.

It's the weekend! Museums this weekend, a birthday party, and maybe driving up to my parents....... I love weekends............

The Big Guns

Jenny Lewis is absolutely amazing. I can't even express how glad I am that I got to go to her show. I would see her again and again. She did all her songs off the album and she even performed a few new ones she has up her sleeve. She did some a capella with the Watson Twins and did a couple just on her guitar. She played almost every song with one instrument or another. She was excellent.

I was right up front for the whole show. Front and center. There were two opener bands for for her. "The Blow" (Portland, Oregon based...cory....). It was basically electronic beats and sounds to the performer's voice. She was really funny actually.....on purpose. And since most of the people standing around me were high schoolers, I don't think they really got her. But I thought she was interesting.

The next band right before Jenny was "Vietnam"... which you might guess would have a certain 60's - 70's rock thing going on. .Which they did. It was pretty much straight rock... They were ok. I thought that they were pretty much up there for the hell of it, I couldn't understand their words, but the guitars were good... so..

Then there was Jenny and the twins and the BAND. They were all amazing. The dummer was fantastic, the guitarist was some really young guy (who looked familiar... I don't know where from) from right here in Alexandria. He sang a few hooks, and played guitar. There was a guy at the little piano and he played slide guitar, and the bassist... and of course the twins. They came out all dressed in black and did a few songs. Then the ladies left the stage and came back in a new outfit and rocked out in these "Tina Turner" dresses. It was great. She is so good, her voice is so good. I hadn't expected her to be that good. The sound really suit her, I love the old gospel kind of thing she's got going on... It's really great.

SO GO SEE HER IF YOU CAN! The whole band looks like they really have fun up there. The last song was ," Handle with care" (made famous by the Traveling Willburys), and a an a capella song that she just wrote. I love live shows, you never really know what to expect.

Haikus for Jenny Lewis by Patricia and Kathleen

My sister and I are excited to be going to see Jenny Lewis and we just couldn't contain ourselves with one Haiku......

jenny lewis soon
guitars and scenester hair cuts
hope ben gibbard shows.

jenny lewis rocks
away the dark midnight blues
with us on sunday

Patricia does sing
along with her favorite
red headed sister

Gee I hope ben shows
so he can do a ditty
with jen lewis too

Watson twins sing too
bringing harmonies sweetly
when can i join in?

It's the weekend everybody!!!!!!!!

brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Ok, I'm going to be saying that all winter. But I just realized we've had so many nice blue skies, that it doesn't really matter. I think in Cairo I could count all the blue skies we had in 2 years on all my fingers and toes and not run out. Sad-- but true. I'll never forget the huge sandstorm I flew into on the way back to Cairo from the states last spring. ugh...

Anyway, be aware, Friday the 13th is upon us.... Watch your back, watch your back.

Accomplished grade giver

Yeah, one of those days. Except I actually like the population I work with today. Kids are the least of my worries. It's the bureaucratic paper push. It's school, it's government, and you know what's worse? It's state government. So there seems to be even more red tape to go through.

I don't really want to dwell on it, BUT I am. I feel like I need to come to a point and think about jobs, working and all that kind of stuff. Do I need a job that matters? Do I want my job to matter to me more? OR less? Is a job just a job? Should I love my job or just live for the weekends? I don't know. Because if there is a perfect job out there for me, I don't have it. But then again, I don't know what that perfect job is. Is it painting? I've never really had that job? Is it cooking? Or do I like that too much for me to make that a job... Do I want my passions to be my job or do I want my passions to be what I come home to at the end of the day? I don't know. I seem caught between the worlds. Because part of being a teacher is to give things for kids to grab on to, take it, and run with it. I like when a kid makes a piece of art work and he or she is proud of it. I like when they can figure out how shading works, or how to make something have more depth It's a great feeling to see the lightbulb come on. And it's hard to see that anymore because of where the educational system is going. It's stunting a lot of kids creativity. It's not giving them the option to figure things out on their own. It's more like," Here's the stuff you need to know so we can be a passing school and get our funding." And I hate that. It doesn't let me be the kind of teacher I thought I'd be able to be.

At the same time. I would rather not work with adults. And in almost any other profession it would be with adults. For me, I guess I give kids the benefit of doubt. Maybe I shouldn't do that. But they're not totally their own person yet. They have the ability to change and be influenced, and to change their personality. Not adults. They're stuck, become unreliable, and frustrating people.... Or people who are frustrated...like me. Teachers are a strange breed though.. I realize this. Sometimes common courtesy go out the window.

I don't know. My dream job....I'll have to think about that. I thought it would be teaching abroad. And it wasn't. I enjoyed the travel, and meeting people who wanted to do the same thing as I did, but it wasn't a dream. It was definitely a change though. At that time it wasn't the right fit for many different reasons. It doesn't mean I wouldn't do it again.... It's still a possibility.

Anyway, I keep going. The days do seem to be fast. I do have a lot of individual learning going on in my classes. The kids seem to be really interested. I find myself always getting more information for them. FILL THEIR HEADS!! In past teaching positions it seemed to be very mediocre, very mundane. Right now, the kids are fine. Teaching is fine. Do I want more than fine?