Monday, January 28, 2013

Time to post

It's been way too long since I've posted anything.  I can't believe that I let that much time slip by.  I guess I've been keeping quite busy.  I suppose that's how it always goes.  I feel like any free moment is often filled up with things.  It's not an excuse, and quite frankly I do have time to veg on the couch.  But I really feel like I NEED that time on the couch watching nonsense on tv and not thinking.  All of that.

So what's going on?  The holidays came and went.  Nothing too exciting, but I did manage to get some form of a virus.  And it wasn't pretty.  Not the best way to spend time off, but I think I'm on the mend now.  Seriously, I finally feel like I'm almost back to my normal self.  It's taken that long.

Having a break is funny that way.  Yes, the flu was going around, but I really feel like my body was so done.  I've felt like I've been on overload since the first month of school.  I can't even believe that we're only about 1/2 way through the year.

But it certainly helps to plan things.  Doesn't it?  Everyone needs something to look forward to.  So-- I have.  I decided to apply for the Youth Empowerment Initiative.  It's leadership training that is sponsored by Off the Mat and Into the World, which is a yoga non-profit that brings yoga, social justice, charity, education, and needed supplies to marginalized groups around the world.

I've applied to work with a group that works specifically with incarcerated youth. And the best thing is-- I just found out that I got accepted!  YAY!  So I'll be traveling in April to California for a week to meet, talk, discuss, visit and experience all the yogic goodness that is happening.  I think it's going to be great, I think I'll learn a lot about what I'm trying to do.  I think it will be a real eye opener.  Although I work everyday with marginalized, incarcerated youth, I feel like what I do everyday is a lot different than what is going on in larger cities where the same problems exist but are multiplied by a million in all areas.

I just feel like I really need this training. I feel like I need to be among people who are like-minded, who may be experiencing the the same challenges I may be facing in my career.

A few weeks ago I felt like I had a setback.  In December I had applied AGAIN for a grant.  The grant was from my very own school district.  I applied the year before, but it didn't get accepted.  So I revamped it.  Never mind, that no one told me what was wrong with it, or how it should be changed.  So I just revamped it, I asked for less money this year, and I made sure everything was spelled right and no longer than the required length.  DIDN'T get it. AGAIN.  This is money is given to teachers to provide programs for the kids.  They've funded everything from ant farms to ballroom dancing to art museum visits.  I really thought I had it in the bag this year.  Nope.  The worst thing is that they won't entertain questions about what I should change.  So, I'm in the dark.  I don't know why they haven't accepted my proposal, and they won't let me ask for advice.  So--what do I do?  I try again next year, I suppose.  I dunno...

BUT- this acceptance for Off the Mat is just what I needed to keep it going.  I think this will be a great experience and opportunity to connect.  I think I'm going to learn a lot about myself, a lot about what it means provide yoga as a service for marginalized youth, and how to expand a community program.

So even though the setbacks are hard, there is always something on the horizon.  It's important to keep looking for the open doors out there, as cliche as it must sound.  If I don't keep looking, who will?

It's back to regular yoga practice for me.  It's been a long while, but I have reason to get back into putting that back into my regular day.  It's important.   If I want my students to be able to experience yoga in the way I think it can be helpful to them, then I too must be a practitioner.