Life as we know it

As you may have guessed, I do take a lot of things personally. It's probably my up-bringing. I can't help it and there is nothing to do but accept it. I feel that some of the time it can be a positive thing. I am a dedicated and loyal person. If I let something into my life, I try to do it with the best of intentions, and I really strive to make it important in my life. I don't believe in doing things part way, I feel that it's important to do it the whole way. However, there are negative aspects to this. Meaning, I don't know how to balance, sometimes I'm irrational, and don't include myself in things that seem half way.

This holds a lot of issues for me physically. One of the main things is lack of sleep, and I can guarantee that I won't be getting much tonight. I can't seem to turn off things that run through my brain. Today those things happen to be: V-tech, hip hop, art, censorship, education, women, men, family, government, environment, students.... the list goes on. At some point I have had some serious thoughts about all these things today. For one reason or another. Here are the main thoughts. BE PREPARED.

My roll as a teacher has never been so frustrating. I feel like I have a certain group as a captive audience (literally) and I feel like there is nothing I can do. How can I tell them or get them to believe that they can change? How can I get them to believe that there are good things about each one of them? How can I make sure that they never come back? How can I get them to see that even though they've been thrown away they still count? How can I get the students that really buy into what they see on tv that it's just a figment of their imagination? How can I get popular culture to change? How can I get OUR future to let people count as people not a type of person? How can they learn to value their second chance to change? How can I make sure that they know that life is what they make it?

I'm so frustrated seeing students come back into my classroom after a couple of months like it's a normal thing. I DON'T want them there. And I tell them that (in a nice way).

So what does this have to do with anything... Well, Virginia Tech. This student, whoever he was, probably we will never know who he really was, because no one else does. It seems as if some people were in a place to help the student, but couldn't do anything about it until something actually "serious" had been threatened or done. Having said that, do we know anyone these days? With all the blogs, and web pages, do we know our neighbors? Do we want to know our neighbors?

Someone came to my door about a month a go. He knocked on my door, I opened it. He said," You know, you really should look through the key hole to see who it is. For safety". I thought about it, and you know what, it is a safety issue. But also, in the same thought, why would I think that some one's intention would be to harm me? Maybe I'm naive. I don't know. But he's probably right. I should look to see who's at the door. He only was delivering mail he got by mistake and was trying to return it. Wasn't that neighborly?

HIP HOP--- I like hip hop. I have for probably as long as I've listened to music. REAL hip hop. Solid hip hop that's almost like spoken word. Music that says something, music that speaks to people. Not just a particular kind of person, but people in general. Not to say that all Hip hop is good. What we hear on the radio doesn't seem like hip hop to me. But I guess it kind of falls into the same category.. unfortunately. However what gives anyone the right to say the kinds of things being said, and sold! SOLD! SOLD! With my students believing in it like some kind of religion. The fact that my students slip the word"bitch" into conversation is direct relation to that.... but then I hear very sincerely," Miss Fitzpatrick, I wasn't talking to you." I know they weren't, but why are they choosing that word? And I do talk about that with them. I talk about word choice, I talk about the way they talk the way they show themselves, says something about themselves. But maybe I'm the wrong speaker. Why would this white 31-year-old woman care about us?

But I don't look at it like that. And my actions should show them that regularly. Unfortunately stereotypes crop up everywhere, but I feel it's my job to break them down. Yes they do exist because people see certain behaviors from a certain group of people... and there you go, they assume..... ASSUME!!

I could go on and on. But I feel like this day and age is the worst for stereotypes, and injustices based on the individual. Too much is focused on the individual. What about the whole? Part of the reason why I feel it continues on that way is because we really don't know each other, we don't know our neighbors, we consider ourselves victims in society. What about real victims, what about the people who are throw-a-ways, and cast out by society? People who are told to leave where they are born and raised. THE FREAKIN' WAR? FREAKIN' POLITICS? FREAKIN' ECONOMY? FREAKIN' WASTE'?

We all need to be responsible. Stop passing the blame, stop. and think.

think
Think
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THINK